In the past 2-3 years I have seen a true shift into how we defend each other and resist other cultures. A few weeks ago, we saw neo-nazis terrorizing the city of Charlottesville, Virginia where people were being threatened, attacked and demeaned beyond measure. The only causality, a young Caucasian woman who was struck by a car for being an anti-protester. When Heather Heyer was named as the victim that died I can only imagine that there were 3 reactions in the white community:
My self confidence has been at a low for a minute now. I just don’t feel like I am as handsome as everyone has told me. I know what you're thinking “Wow, this guy is vain as fuck.” I really am not, but that was one of the only compliments I got growing up.
Catch up with me and the rest of @thepanelatlpodcast every Monday as we discuss sex, love, dating and issues in our communities. All told from the perspective of people living in ATL.
NEVER BE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM...
IT WILL ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF YOU...
I have been dwelling on this for a LONG time. I HATE that term, never be the smartest person in the room ONLY APPLIES TO AVERAGE LEVEL PEOPLE. Since a child, I have always been the smartest person in the room. My job literally causes me to constantly be the smartest person in the room. Even if people are smarter than me, I STILL ACT AS IF I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM.
But I digress...
Nah, F**K that
WHY I STOPPED WATCHING THAT BULL SHIT
So in January, I did a media cleanse where I stopped being on social media. I started 2017 on the right foot, no stress or drama, just peace and quiet..or so I thought. I replaced reading my timelines with reading the news and i must say , it was actually pretty similar to being on socia media. Trump was in the midst of being inaugurated. It was downright depressing.
Webster Dictionary defines manners as follows:
manners plural : social conduct or rules of conduct as shown in the prevalent customs Victorian manners
For centuries, manners we are sign of class and distinguishes the difference between people with regalness and people with no real couth. After traveling the world, I have realized that different cultures have different manners and that is ok, but I want to focus on American manners. We have several unofficial rules that are supposed to be instilled into you from birth on. Unfortunately, as generataions pass on, some of these manners are not being passed down, mainly due to individuals wanting to be “different” from the generations before them. With time, comes change, but now...we are at a all time low when it comes to American Manner Practices. As I travel the country for work, I have observed Americans and how they interact.
It’s crazy thinking about how people move to major cities and just expects that they are famous because of their experience. We are all searching for our own light and humility with confidence in your talent goes a long way.
In the realm of the “newly” discovered term “intersectionality” and the uprising of the free spirited Generation Y, a period of self realization is happening amongst the masses. With this, I decided to take some time to reflect and meditate on my intersectionality as a Black, Bisexual, College Educated Man of Eclecticity (not sure if that's a word, but it works) and I have found out the root of the problem...BLACK MEN ARE PROMBLEMATIC.
On Memorial Day I turned 27. This yeah I decided to write a letter to my 7 and 17 year old self. I think it's necessary to look back on your life and reflect. I remember 6, 16 and 26 were all rough years for me but I had to remind myself that 7 and 17 were me coming over rough times in my life.
To 7 year old Erick-Joseph...
Yesterday was the first day I did not have a single moment of feeling depressed in a full 24 hours. For those who don't know, I have been battling depression for 10+ years. Some days are great others are terrible but overall I'm finally making the proper strides to bettering my mental health.
Well yesterday was one of the best days I had in a long time. I woke up at like 12:30 due to the partying I did the night before. I walked to the bathroom to get get my morning started and I remember I took off my dread sock (It's like and Durag but for locs) and ran my fingers through my hair. As I looked in the mirror all I could think was “Damn, I'm handsome as fuck” and I was truly feeling myself while looking in the mirror.
For those who don't know, I travel A LOT. Mainly for work, bit occasionally for fun. Today was not one of my fun trips. I also live in Atlanta, which house probably one of the largest airports in the world, meaning A SHIT TON of people with frequent flyer status. About 85% of people with status are white, and within that 85%, 77% is male, within that 77% about 40% are douchebags, but are you really surprised?
Between May 8th & 11th of 2017. I experienced 5 of these douchbags inadvertently and in this post, I will walk you through each one.
A story on based on the love of my life, if they existed...
I had a random thought this week. I wondered what my friends thought about me and how they would describe me as a person. So I decided to just ask them. I sent a simple statement “describe me as a person”. From there I gathered all the responses. I asked about 20 people who I consider a friend or deeper. Even asked a couple of exes I'm cool with (one was super petty, but whatever). The friends range from less than a year to almost my entire life so it's a pretty broad range. From there, I took all the words and created a wordle to see which words stand out (also, I didn't feel like counting each word they use. The best part about it is that wordles automatically makes the most used words bigger. So I'm going to go over some of the big words as well as the smaller ones
So on December 29th, 2016 I decided to go on a social media hiatus. No Facebook, Twitter, IG, NOTHING. It was one of the most relaxing and annoying month in my adult life.
I continued therapy, meditation, working out, and connecting with myself but I knew I had to still stay connected so I only used my news app and read the news, along with my weekly podcasts. Which allowed me to stay connected.
This is my first time back on here in a long time. Almost a full year and with that time away, much growth has occurred. I started Le Monsieur Èclectique as a resource for men similar to what women have MILLIONS of. But as I grew I realized I shouldn't let my blog and what I express be pigeon-held because of my fears. My insecurities. I don't want to be a reality tv star but I do want to help people. I remember at a friends funeral the pastor began preaching and a point he made is that "people who haven't gotten over things never shows their scars".
I still remember being held and holding partners at night...
All these books are not written by Black People but they were helpful for my Black Experience thus far. Anything with a ***indicates that several people have recommended these books including but not limited to senior executives for major companies, amazing entrepreneurs, and some of the most successful black people who work with or for major tech companies.